“Diba UP student ka?” / “You’re a UP student, right?”
Whenever somebody asks me that, I feel a little shiver on my self-worth. And there’s a hint of pride while saying Yes I am!
Because, why not? As a person who came from the top university of this country, in terms of academic excellence, there’s some sort of class that only us could be part of. Like, we’re somehow special in some ways.
However, that question doesn’t always imply greatness.
“Diba UP student ka? Dapat alam mo to.” / “You’re a UP student, right? Then you should know this.”
More than those short-time pleasures, I feel like I’ve been identified by this one very thing. That’s me, my life, all that I am. It’s like I’ve been sort out to belong to some group of people who should be like this and like that. A stereotype.
I remembered somebody asked me why I don’t feel confident enough to speak in front of a few people when I’m a UP student. And I was taken aback.
Should I be confident just because I graduated from such school?—what’s on my mind the whole time.
I was expected to be excellent in everything that I do. Just cause I’m a UP student. A lot of times that I’d have to show the best, and even push myself beyond of what I can, with the fear of being judged if I’d do less. Because I should be better than many people, in many different ways.
But that is just not the real case. And I wouldn’t want to spend this whole page defending myself because indeed, I’m no better than anybody else. I may have higher grades, yet that doesn’t define me as better than you are. Being a UP student is just a little part of me. And your grades is just a small piece of you. There are more to me, and you.
I love music. I like playing instruments even if I don’t play excellently. I love writing. I love taking photos. I speak what’s on my mind. I have a lot of things going on my head everyday besides academics. I love watching animes and kdrama. I have many hobbies which I could do for hours.
And at the same time, I do mistakes. I have many flaws. A lot of things I suck at doing. And ultimately, I sin.
We may know our boss whose life is all about working on the office, or we may know our pastor whose life evolved only inside the church, or our professor who never leaves his desk full of scientific papers. But we didn’t even consider what they’re passionate about. The things they do that’s beyond for our eyes to see.
What else do they love doing? What are their hobbies? Do they also go out to have picnics or travel with their family? Maybe they also like painting, or they play instruments beautifully.
You see, there are more to a person than the impression they have instilled in us. We really can’t tell what that person is all about just based on one truth that we know about them. We might even be surprised to know what they’re fond of and not.
“Aren’t you a good God? Then why did this happen?”
Sounds familiar. As if we know His definition of good.
There are still a lot of things that we have to know about God, too. He is loving, merciful, kind, just… and the list goes on. He is a lot of things that we cannot fathom. And that is simply amazing, isn’t it? Because, can you really imagine God being just one thing? That would just be horrible for us!
God is good enough not to give everything we want because He knows those things can destroy us. And He is not only a just God, because we would have to live a miserable life then, since we don’t deserve love and grace. Yet He is also a loving God, that’s why we can live a full life.
Therefore for me, instead of being offended by those words of high expectancy and being given a wrong identification, I want to challenge myself. To keep moving forward with a goal to grow and mature. Not to meet their expectations, but to serve them the best that I can, and to glorify my Father who makes me able through Jesus Christ.