Twenty-one years of existence and I’ve never experienced dating. But let me tell you that I’m not against it.
I just think that the right time for me has not yet arrived. And while the season of waiting is there, I don’t spend my time dwelling on the doubt that it will really come. Because either it will or it will not, it’s not the only thing that is beautiful in this life that God gave us.
Dating is not the greatest pleasure there is.
There are a lot of great and wonderful thing out there, ready to be discovered by us. And life is not all about it but rather all about God.
So while it is the season of love right now, and as a lady who have never been into dating, let me share to you things I’ve learned on the process.
Dating is okay.
I believe that somehow in our lives, we desire of even holding someone’s hands while strolling around the park. Maybe some of you dream of having a fairy tale love story, a beautiful wedding scene, a honeymoon of grandeur, and a happy family in the future. And live happily ever after.
You know, that thing which they call true love.
I, personally, like those things. In fact, I desire of experiencing the joy of having a partner in life. And that is okay! Actually, it is good! Because our God is our source of great and good things (James 1:17), and also those desires came from Him (Psalm 37:4).
Feeling in love is so wonderful and is so beautiful because it comes from the Author of love Himself.
However, not everything that comes with dating is okay. There are things that we must limit ourselves into and there are boundaries that we should be aware of.
As Christians, the Bible is our guideline to a rightful dating such that amidst our relationship with others (even in friendship and family ties), we will be able to glorify His name.
Our main existence is crafted because God loves us and He wants us to worship Him.
And when in a relationship, one goal is that we are not to worship the other person but to worship God TOGETHER with that person.
It should be a situation where God will be glorified the most by pleasing Him the most.
Next, dating should be a preparation for marriage. If not, so why date? Do we date just to satisfy our flesh? Peer pressure? To join the mob? Some selfish desires comes when our flesh starts to act over it.
Sometimes, people find security and assurance from one another. We try to find completeness from those who love us and those who we love.
And these are all so wrong! Because these selfish desires gives us a temporal cloud 9 feeling which will never, ever satisfy us in the long run. And you’re making God jealous because He wants us to love Him with all our heart, mind, and soul above all.
As much as God wants us to make Him the center of our lives, He wants us to make Him the center of our relationship with other people.
Dating is okay when it is inside the boundary of God’s purpose.
NOT dating is still OKAY.
I’ve seen people who are not satisfied with being single. People who are not happy with their lives because they felt being left behind as singles.
The problem is we continually look at what others have. Envy starts to creep in, wishing we would have that too. We feel lack and incomplete whenever we think about not having someone we could hold hands with.
Well, if you’re like that, I know exactly how you feel because I once belonged in that group. But let me tell you that there are still a lot of great things, even greater things, than being in a wonderful relationship with the opposite sex.
There’s more to life than having a love life!
You see guys, it is okay to not to date! You are not someone less. You are not a failure. Above all, you are not unimportant and incomplete. Being single is not a curse. It is actually a blessing just as much as being married is.
And God placed you in that position because that is where you can worship Him best at this moment. And instead of lurking around, self-pitying and being sad about it, try to seek God more. Build your relationship with God more.
Make yourself delight in your relationship with God, that you are too busy wanting more of it, and allows you to forget what you do not have that you don’t really need.
In the end, it is not our haves and not haves that will define our identity and worth.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, let me tell you that a person cannot complete and satisfy you. Like you and me, those human beings also will fail at some moments in their lives. They will fail us just like we will fail them.
Not the feeling of being in love and being loved will ever amount to what we ultimately need in life.
Jesus. Believing in Him as He saves us from our sins, comes with security, contentment, identity, and above all, abundance in life.
And the reason behind of these all is because of God’s great love for us.
This is real love–not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
1 John 4:10
His perfect and unfailing love will complete us and give us contentment to experience the abundance of life. Our identity is known in Him because Jesus Christ is enough for us to know and understand the things that leads us to salvation, to a full life.
If you’ve met dating already, I hope that today, you are reminded that your ultimate goal in dating is to worship God in and with it.
If you’re like me and you haven’t met dating yet, maybe God wants you to meet the cross at this very moment, to remind you that His love is already enough.